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Name: Sick & Tired
Location: Forest Grove, OR
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Christmas limericks

First -

With mistletoe over my head
I was groped by a man dressed in red
With a pat and a squeeze
I said "Stop, Santa, please!
Do that again and your dead!"

Second:

Santa perched atop his sleigh
Rudolph was leading the way
Air traffic control 
Didn't watch the console
Now Santa's jet engine fillet!
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